Dancing with my Father

In addition to watching Spring warily edge its way into Ohio, this is the time of year when we celebrate our wedding anniversary and our Son's birthday. It's now been more than a decade and a half since we lost my Dad to cancer in between those 2 celebrations. On the night before Dad's funeral, Mom asked if I would "write something" for Dad. This is what I wrote.



When Dad came back from the hospital after back surgery, he was still able to walk, if he had some help. So - when he wanted to go down the hall, or into the family room, he and some family member would engage in a slow, deliberate dance, with one person walking backwards, providing support, and Dad holding on and directing the operation.

He and I did this strange dance down the hall, with me there for support and his strong, strong hands holding on to my arms. It made me think of so many other times when I had noticed the strength of those hands, all through my life.

For most of his adult life, Dad held a 'white-collar' job, but I always thought of him in terms of physical labor, and pictured always the strength in those hands.

Those hand had, in the course of his life, chopped cotton, picked cotton, and hoed down the long rows of innumerable gardens and fields. They had also held a well-worn Bible with tender care as he prepared to share the Word in worship or with parishioners who, as he did in recent days, knew illness or incapacity.

Those hands, which could display such strength, could gently caress the frailest hand of another, and did - as he stood by countless hospital beds - a steadfast presence when other friends and family members faced death.

I would think of these things as we did our slow, walking dance around my brother's home. It seems strange, in a family which is not usually physically demonstrative, to remember Dad in a word like "dance" - but for me the image connects with an old Shaker tune used in a hymn that refers to Christ as "Lord of the Dance" -

"... they buried my body and they thought I'd gone, but I am the Dance and I still go on. They cut me down & I leapt up high, I am the life that will never, never die; I'll live in you if you'll live in me. I am the Lord of the Dance said He."

[19th century Shaker tune/Words by Sydney Carter, 1963]

This is for Dad, as he experiences the Life whose promise he shared with so many others, and which he now enjoys. This is from one of your sons, but it comes on behalf of many, many more people.

Thanks - thanks for the dance, Dad.

Why It's Good That There Are Females

The other day I was sitting at a table which had on it (among other things) a tablecloth and a salad fork. As I looked at those items, it occurred to me that if there had never been such a thing as a female, probably neither item would have ever been invented.

[Caution: Absolutely NO Lesson Ahead]

I cannot imagine a world populated entirely by guys in which one of them would one day say, "Hey, why don't we put a cloth over the table before we eat?" I can't even picture guys coming up with a placemat, unless it was a practical matter, like eating over the classified ads so that when you were finished you could just fold up the whole mess & throw it away.

Like many useful inspirations, this one got me to wandering further down the path after the first transient thought (if you are looking for a clue as to how guys' minds function, that was it).

Curtains? I doubt it. I just can't picture any part of a world that was exclusively filled with men that would come up with the idea of hanging colored fabrics over windows. Likewise for scented candles - especially any that matched curtains - or pretty much anything that matched anything else in the house, or existed just to make things smell better.

Guys can exhibit a certain genius for using everyday items in a variety of ways. Coasters? Why would you need that when you have old newspapers & magazines? Why would anyone invent a bathrobe when they already have towels? For that matter, towels could replace rugs by the shower, or just about anywhere else that you really needed something on the floor.

I don't think any craft items would exist that were not made of iron or wood - and don't even get me started on fabric softener.

It's not that any of these items are unnecessary, I just don't think that in a world with no females, anyone would have ever thought them up. And, while in many ways it would have been a simpler world, there's little doubt that it would also probably be louder, & messier, & let's be honest, it wouldn't smell so good. So, good job, God, on thinking up the whole female idea.

Maybe you have your own thoughts on what would be missing in a guy-only world. If so, let me know. And I think we can all agree that I was being honest when I promised absolutely no lesson to be had here at all.

BLOG NOTES: As always, if this is your first visit to "Leaving Nadderby" (especially if, God forbid, this post is your only experience of the site), you are urged to look for "Looking Back" from February 2008 as an introduction. Still working on notifications ideas & ways that you can sign up to receive updates if you want them - meanwhile, continued thanks for any & all forwards. - Steve

Doing What the Stone Could Not

Easter has come and gone again (at least in the Western tradition - the Orthodox believers still have till April 27th to anticipate this centerpiece of the Christian faith). As Easter drew near this year, it occurred to me that the Church has often managed to do what the stone failed to do - keep Jesus in the tomb.

After all of the terrible & bloody tortures of the Passion, and being buried behind a stone door, Jesus managed to defeat Death & escape the tomb only to be delivered into the hands of a Church which has all too often domesticated him, softened his message, and kept him shut within the walls of Churches, where his resurrection goes largely unnoticed by a world which could really use some Good News.

Near the end of the 19th century, a noted British Baptist minister named C.H. Spurgeon was involved in debates about the truth of Scripture. He suggested that you defend the Bible the same way you would defend a full-grown lion-you turn it loose.

Christians have all too often acted as if Christ is their own special possession who needs protection from a rough & tumble world. 'Blue laws' (forbidding most commerce in many communities on Sundays) were an earlier day's effort to maintain a semblance of holiness, or at least better behavior for the day. [As my mother was fond of pointing out back then, this didn't keep the Christians (including us) from patronizing restaurants 'en masse' after Church].

This is a plea, I guess, for the Church not to settle for keeping Christ always within the walls of the Church building. Sunday morning is not only the most segregated hour of the week (as Senator Obama recently reminded us), it is the most invisible hour of the week for most of the world. For the unchurched (oh...there's a churchy word), the things that happen within churches are mostly unknown or, even more scandalous, uninteresting.

Turning Jesus loose into the world beyond the comforts of Church life will be messy, and it will make most Christians uncomfortable. It will take serious effort on the part of church-folks to move beyond the contentment that has characterized most church life for the last century. If the Church is brave enough to truly engage the world with Christ & not just with church-stuff, however, there may be a delightful surprise waiting.

The One who couldn't be held in by the stone door of the tomb is already there.

BLOG NOTE: If this is your first visit to "Leaving Nadderby", you are strongly urged to go to the February 2008 link for "Looking Back" as an introduction to the site. My blog advisor is urging me to increase production & to understand the nature of "blogs" & not to approach each one as a piece of writing (so that more thoughts get published more often). For this week & April, I'll commit to 3/week, on matters great & small, as a way of trying to learn that. As always, I am thrilled to get your feedback, on the site or in person (even if it is just 'Hey, I'm here!'). Thanks for the generosity I've been shown as this begins. - Steve

Encased

If a person can't get out at least one blog during a Level 3 Snow emergency, then he/she doesn't deserve the hallowed title of "blogger" - (or am I assuming too much about how highly esteemed bloggers are?) - so here are some thoughts from the snowy wilds of western Ohio.

Before the snow & wind brought us a much more conventional Winter storm, our area had one of the most interesting storms I had seen in my first 1/2 Century. To say that we were covered in ice last week would give the wrong impression. Over the course of a day it appeared that every vertical surface in our immediate vicinity had grown a quarter-inch of ice. Not just trees & fences, but individual blades of grass stood out with a clear, glass-like coating of ice. It looked as if it had been applied one molecule at a time.

One by-product of this storm was a massive power outage, lasting from several hours to a few days in our area. Another by-product was an incredible beauty shining through the crushing power of all that ice. The entire region is still littered with broken limbs & even some trees that split vertically all the way to the ground. Homeowners & Utilities officials can be seen, chainsaws in hand, sizing up some of the trees which have suffered the most severe damage. I hope they will not decide too quickly which trees are beyond help.

As the thaw progressed, hundreds of trees which had been bowed to the ground underwent a heroic transformation, recovering in ways which had appeared impossible. First the midday sun turned all those tapestries of ice to silver. Then, after more than a day encased completely in unimaginable weight, most of the trees endured, bent, and began to recover. This Spring, the ones that survive the chainsaw will bear their scars as a part of the story they have lived. If there's not some kind of lesson to be had there, we're not paying attention.

BLOG NOTE: If you are new to "Leaving Nadderby", I urge you to click on the "February 2008 " link & go to "Looking Back" as a place to begin. Continued thanks go out to all of the encouragers & forwarders who are helping me figure out this process.

Read and Follow [SOME] Directions

It is not often the case that a pocket-sized purchase from a museum gift shop can teach you life lessons for decades - but I know that it is possible.

When the kids were young a favorite destination was the Children's Museum in Indianapolis. (If you have never been there I strongly urge a visit - grab the kids, or borrow some if you don't have any handy, & head over - you won't be sorry). At the end of one trip I was fascinated by a small, flat top called a "Rattleback." Like any top, it spins, but if you follow the directions & spin it clockwise, a fascinating thing happens - it stops & reverses itself. [When I know a LOT more about Blogs than I know now, I'll insert a video here, but for now you'll just have to take my word for it].

The Rattleback shudders to a stop before going in the direction that it "wants" to go. Here's what is interesting to me. If you DON'T follow directions - if you spin it counterclockwise - it will keep going merrily in that direction (until friction, etc., interferes). I'd like to offer the Rattleback as a reminder that some directions in our life need (and are worth) constant attention, AND that we need to take seriously how we're 'wired' as we face life.

This toy reminds me that there is occasionally a case for creatively ignoring instructions. If I keep bashing my head against the same figurative brick wall over & over, maybe it's because I'm trying to go in a direction for which I am fundamentally unsuited, & I might need to listen to what my body & life are telling me. Now here's where I wish that it were all as simple as just saying 'no' to directions & going with my own flow.

There are times when I need to keep nudging my life in a 'proper', clockwise direction, even if it's not what I want in the short run. If I avoid the cookies today, I'll still have to choose to eat something that won't kill me tomorrow. The trick is to only follow directions when they lead me towards light & life. Directions will always flow freely from other folks who don't have any idea which way I need to spin.

Both clockwise & counterclockwise decisions need to be part of our lives. We need to breathe out as well as breathing in. If we eliminate either one, we're quickly in trouble.

BLOG NOTE: If you are new to Leaving Nadderby, I want to urge you to click on the "Looking Back" post from February 2008 as a place to begin. Please continue to forward wildly, and many thanks for all the contacts so far, including MY FIRST LINK! While Googling, I found Leaving Nadderby linked by a good friend to his "Unnecessary Buffness" Blog - http://unnecessarybuffness.blogspot.com/- if you don't already know Jon, he is someone well worth knowing. Also, here is how to find the Indy Children's Museum - http://www.childrensmuseum.org/- Enjoy.